Not Just Waiting: How Kidney Donation Became a Story Worth Sharing

I’m standing in a waiting room at Columbia Hospital, overlooking the beautiful, scenic Hudson River, as I write these words. My wife, Chaviva, is in surgery, undergoing a procedure that is anything but routine. She is donating her kidney to a stranger. A stranger, and yet, in the truest sense, a member of our extended family. Because that’s who we are as a people, bound not only by shared belief and heritage, but by shared responsibility.

There’s a particular stillness that defines this space. Unlike the waiting rooms that are filled with fear, grief, or uncertainty, today’s emotion is different. Yes, I’m anxious. But it’s an anxiety infused with awe. I’m not here because something went wrong. I’m here because something went beautifully, courageously, right.

There is no real way to describe what it feels like to participate in a mitzvah this profound. This morning, upon arrival, the representative from Renewal handed Chaviva a card that listed, clearly and beautifully, eight different mitzvos that one fulfills through kidney donation. But even that can’t fully capture what it means to be part of something like this. This isn’t about tallying mitzvah points. It’s about recognizing when we are in a unique position to give something truly immeasurable to someone else. 

A Gratitude Too Big for Words

Many of us are blessed with good health.  Others live with manageable health challenges. And then there are those who suffer from serious and debilitating conditions that alter every part of their lives. To donate a kidney, one must be in excellent health—truly on the higher end of that spectrum. It requires a body that is not only functioning well, but thriving. And that alone is worth pausing over.

Because how does one express real, profound gratitude and appreciation to our Creator, the Rofei chol basar (Healer of all flesh), for the single greatest gift we can be given: our health?

There’s no one answer to that question. And I don’t mean to suggest that donating an organ is the only way, or even the best way, to say thank You. But it is a way. And for those of us in a position to do so, it is a uniquely powerful one.

To be able to say: Thank You for giving me not just enough, but more than I need. Thank You for the extra strength, the extra capacity, the extra function that allows me to give some of it away without compromising my own health—that’s a gift of staggering magnitude. And to then be able to use that surplus to save a life… there are no words for that kind of zechus.

This moment has led me to reflect more deeply than ever on what it means when our bodies function the way they’re supposed to. When we wake up in the morning, when we walk, breathe, eat, think, and move, when our kidneys quietly do their work hour after hour without us ever noticing, we are living miracles. And yet we rarely stop to take notice.

It shouldn’t take a moment like this to awaken our gratitude. But when it does, we must hold onto it. We must let it shape us. We must recognize how undeserved and immeasurable the gift of health is, and find our own way to say thank You. Whether through action, prayer, kindness, or compassion, the key is that we don’t let that gratitude go unexpressed.

A Story That Keeps Giving

Over ten years ago, I donated my own kidney. The recipient, Donny Hain a”h, passed away in the early days of the COVID pandemic. But his memory lives on—not only in the people he touched during his life, but in the ripple effect that followed. Since then, I’ve witnessed a remarkable chain reaction. Stories inspire stories. One act leads to another. Kindness multiplies.

I’ve been privileged to see how that act of giving continues to bear fruit. But make no mistake: I don’t take credit for what others have done—not even for Chaviva’s decision. Yes, I supported her. But this decision was completely her own. And it needed to be. Because a decision like this, so deeply personal, so full of vulnerability and sacrifice, must come from within. It can’t be suggested or nudged into being. It has to be owned, fully and completely, by the one who steps forward.  Still, I share this story publicly because I’ve seen firsthand how powerful these stories can be. I’ve seen lives changed. I’ve seen people wake up to possibilities they never imagined for themselves. And that’s a zechus too.

Looking Back to Look Forward

More than a decade ago, after donating my own kidney, I took the time to write and share some thoughts—a reflection on the experience and what it meant to me. That piece was meaningful then, and I revisited it in recent days. Remarkably, despite the time that has passed, and despite my tendency—like many of us—to be critical of my own writing, I found that I still stand by what I wrote. Not just the style, but the substance. The core ideas continue to resonate with me, unchanged. Rather than reiterate the same themes here, I’ll simply reference them and let that earlier piece speak for itself: https://jewishlink.news/guest-editorial-from-rabbi-larry-rothwachs/.

But I want to add something new, something personal and slightly uncomfortable to put into words. Over the years, I’ve come to learn that our story—mine, and that of my recipient Donny Hain a”h—has inspired others. And part of the strength and reach of that story, I have no doubt, is because of who Donny was.

Donny was widely beloved, warm, charismatic, deeply connected to so many, and he came from an extraordinary, loving family. The outpouring of attention that our story received at the time was, in no small part, a reflection of the esteem in which he was held. His character, his circle, and his relationships helped generate the momentum that followed. I’ve had the privilege of witnessing how one act of kindness, rooted in connection and amplified by community, can grow far beyond itself.

The Visit That Changed My Perspective

Very late at night, after my kidney donation more than ten years ago, I received a visit in the hospital from a man I had never met before. I believe he was a Vizhnitzer chassid. He walked in quietly, introduced himself, and told me something that has stayed with me ever since.

He, too, had donated a kidney—several years earlier. But he had made a decision to tell no one beyond his wife and immediate family. There were no public announcements, no articles, no kibbudim. This was his private mitzvah, and he wanted it to remain pure—untainted by public recognition. It was, in his words, a gift given lishmah.

But just a few days later, after he wasn’t in shul for a few days, the Vizhnitzer Rebbe found out. He called the man and asked why he hadn’t been in shul. Not wanting to lie, the man told the Rebbe the truth: “I donated a kidney.”

The Rebbe’s response? With a smile and a twinkle in his eye, he said, “You’re such a baal gaavah.”  The man was stunned. A baal gaavah? He had done everything he could to keep the mitzvah silent and humble.

And then the Rebbe explained: “Because you wanted the mitzvah to be so perfect, so untouched, so free of any recognition, you denied others the chance to be inspired. You gave someone life—but you took away the opportunity for someone else to stop and say, ‘Why not me?’”

That moment reframed everything for me. Yes, humility is a virtue. But so is the impact. So is inspiration. So is giving someone else the chance to rise.

None of this would be possible without Renewal. Their work—quiet, relentless, miraculous—is saving lives. Over 1,250 transplants and counting. But more than logistics, they offer dignity, connection, and community. They make it possible for people to step into their better selves—and walk away having given someone else their life back.

Today, Chaviva and I find ourselves in an unusual club, having both had the zchus to participate in this most special mitzvah. I never imagined that we would share this particular distinction. But I hope that, if nothing else, our stories can remind others that even seemingly extraordinary acts are well within reach. That there is a place in this world for unimaginable kindness. That health is a gift meant not only to be appreciated—but to be shared.

I’m still standing in a waiting room—but I know this isn’t only about waiting. There are moments when we wait, and moments when we act. And sometimes, it’s the waiting that leads us there. Each of us faces moments when we’re called to respond—each in our own way, at our own pace. It may be something small. It may be something quiet. But from stillness can come movement. And from one story, another can begin.

https://jewishlink.news/not-just-waiting-how-a-kidney-donation-became-a-story-worth-sharing

The Best Things in Life Aren’t Things: A Walk Through the Mall During Sefirah

I found myself somewhere unfamiliar today: the Garden State Plaza. I had come to get my phone fixed, and as I started walking through the mall, it occurred to me that it’s been a long time—at least five years, probably longer—since I last set foot here. And maybe because it’s been so long, everything felt louder, brighter, more exaggerated than I remembered. The whole experience felt just a bit surreal.

Everything was bright, loud, and carefully curated—designed to attract, entice, and sell. Consumer culture is nothing new, but seeing it so densely concentrated, so polished and choreographed, caught me off guard.

At one point, I passed a sign for something called “Dopamine Land.” For a moment, I thought I might have misread it. But then I remembered my kids had told me about it—it’s a real place. The name says it all: a space built around stimulation and instant pleasure. In many ways, it fits perfectly into the environment that surrounds it.

Walking through the mall, I was struck by just how much of the experience is about presentation—lights, signs, colors, sounds. It’s not just about things—it’s about convincing us that those things are what we’re missing. It’s easy to scoff at that, but the truth is, all of us get pulled in by it in one way or another.

When my kids were younger and I’d take them to the mall, I had this thing I used to say. We’d be walking through, and I’d turn to them and ask, “What do you see?” And they knew exactly what was coming. I’d say, “You see so many people searching for happiness.” That was my line. They’d roll their eyes—there he goes again—but that’s what always struck me. Not as a critique of anyone, just as an observation. There’s something about a mall that brings it out. All around you, there’s this sense that if you just find the right thing, the next item, the right look, it’ll bring happiness. We’re all searching for something. That’s just part of being human.

And that’s what makes this time of year such a powerful counterpoint. We’re in the midst of Sefirat HaOmer, the seven weeks between Pesach and Shavuot. Chazal describe this time as a journey of refinement, a gradual ascent from the rawness of Yetziat Mitzrayim to the clarity and purpose of Matan Torah. When we left Egypt, we weren’t yet who we were meant to be. We were free, but not yet formed. Over these seven weeks, we work on ourselves. Thought by thought, action by action, we try to become more intentional, more elevated, more deserving.

And then comes Shavuot, the culmination of that work. And what do we bring? Shtei haLechem—two simple loaves of wheat bread. After all that growth, all that spiritual effort, the offering isn’t dazzling. It’s not dramatic. It’s bread.

But maybe that’s the point.

Bread is basic. It doesn’t make headlines. It’s not high-tech or trend-setting. But it’s deeply human. It takes effort. It takes partnership, with the earth, with the sky, with the process. Flour from the ground, water from above. A slow, deliberate transformation. And when it’s done right, it nourishes.

That’s the symbol we bring. Not because we couldn’t do better, but because that is better.

And the contrast is even clearer when you remember what we brought at the beginning of this journey. On the second day of Pesach, we offered the Korban HaOmer—a simple measure of barley. Chazal identify barley as animal food. It represents something raw, undeveloped, even instinctual. That’s where we start. That’s what we’re working with.

Seven weeks later, we bring wheat bread. Human food. Refined, processed, elevated. The shift from barley to wheat marks not just a change in grain, but a transformation in who we are. We’ve moved from reacting to responding, from surviving to choosing, from instinct to intention. And the vehicle for that growth isn’t some shiny object. It’s bread.

This time of year isn’t about consuming. It’s about becoming.

That doesn’t mean material things are bad. Judaism doesn’t reject the physical world—it embraces it. But only when it’s grounded in meaning. Only when we understand that gashmiyus is meant to be a means, not an end.

There’s a phrase in Pirkei Avos—one of the 48 ways Torah is acquired: מיעוט סחורה—limiting one’s involvement in commerce and consumerism. It doesn’t mean one shouldn’t work or earn a living. It means that the pursuit of things can quickly become all-consuming, and when it does, it can drown out the still, quiet work of the soul. The more we chase after what’s outside, the harder it becomes to cultivate what’s inside.

That’s what struck me walking through the mall. It’s all so loud. So designed. So urgent. And then I thought of shtei haLechem—two loaves, sitting quietly at the end of seven weeks of growth. No fanfare. Just substance.

We’re not here to dazzle. We’re here to deepen. We’re not here to collect. We’re here to connect.

So yes, I came to fix my phone. But I left with something else—a reminder that the simple, the slow, the sincere—that’s where real growth lives. The mall sells the next new thing. Shavuot reminds us that the oldest things are often the truest.

And the best things in life? They’re not things at all.

Looking Up: The Miracles We Miss Every Day

What do we call it when the impossible happens, and then we forget about it by morning? Almost exactly one year ago, as families around the world were preparing for Pesach, something happened. Iran launched a barrage of nearly 300 ballistic missiles directly at Israel. These weren’t the kind we’ve sadly grown accustomed to from Gaza—these were long-range, high-speed, high-precision threats, many aimed squarely at densely populated cities. Intelligence officials and military analysts braced for disaster. There were dire warnings. Frantic updates. And then… silence.

Every missile was intercepted. The ones that weren’t landed harmlessly in open areas. It was, in every measurable way, a military impossibility. Afterward, we learned the truth: the systems that protected Israel—Arrow, David’s Sling, Iron Dome—had never been tested like this. They weren’t designed for this. Even in optimal conditions, they were expected to block about 75% of missiles. This time, they blocked 99%. Some say 100%.

So, was that a miracle? Or was it just good defense?

We don’t have to go far to find a parallel. Every year on Shvi’i shel Pesach, we stand again at the shores of the Yam Suf, watching the sea split. It’s a scene etched into our collective memory: the waters part, the walls rise, and the nation walks through on dry land. But if you look closely at the Torah’s telling, you’ll find something strange. It wasn’t just a sudden split. The Torah tells us, “Hashem drove the sea back with a strong east wind all night.” Not an explosion. Not a thunderclap. A wind. Long. Slow. Natural.

Which one was it? Was it a miracle? Or a meteorological event? The Torah gives us both.

Rabbi Jonathan Sacks zt”l notices this tension and asks: why would the Torah present both a supernatural and a natural account of Kriyat Yam Suf? Why would it risk weakening the miracle by implying it could have been explained? His answer is as radical as it is beautiful: the Torah isn’t trying to impress us. It’s trying to transform us. In his words, “A miracle is not defined by suspending the laws of nature. A miracle is something that transforms us. That awakens faith. That reveals justice.” It’s not the fireworks. It’s the change inside us.

We often imagine that if we had only been there—standing at the sea, seeing the water rise, hearing the thunder of chariots behind us—we’d never doubt again. But the Torah tells us that just days later, Bnei Yisrael were complaining about water. Weeks later, they were begging to return to Egypt. And we’re not so different.

We experience moments that should awaken us, averted disasters, uncanny timing, near misses that leave us breathless. That job offer coming through right when savings were depleted. The car accident narrowly avoided when you inexplicably decided to take a different route. And yet, just like that, we move on. We explain it away. What happened a year ago, 300 missiles, no casualties, should have stopped us in our tracks. But how many of us treated it like a moment of national Kriyat Yam Suf? And if we didn’t, what would it take? 400 missiles? 500? A casualty or two? Would that finally make us call it a miracle?

In our lifetime, we’ve seen other moments that seem impossible until they happen, just like that night of missile interceptions. The Soviet Union, once the world’s most feared and repressive regime, collapsed not through revolution or war, but quietly, almost anticlimactically. It had imprisoned Jews, crushed religious practice, and cast a long shadow of terror. And then it just dissolved. Was that a miracle? Or just politics? According to Rabbi Sacks, the answer doesn’t lie in what happened, but in how we respond.

The brilliance of the Torah’s dual narrative, the east wind and the water walls, is not in its ambiguity but in its invitation. It says: choose how to see. Choose how to live. If you’re inspired by nature, the Torah gives you wind. If you’re inspired by wonder, it gives you walls of water. But either way, it demands one thing: don’t be passive. Don’t explain it all away. Look up. Ask yourself: did this moment awaken anything in me? Did it stir awe? Did it reveal truth? Did it spark gratitude? If it did, then it was a miracle.

The Ramban, at the end of Parshat Bo, says that open miracles exist only to teach us how to notice the hidden ones—those everyday occurrences we take for granted but are actually divine orchestration. That there is no such thing as “natural.” That the apple is no less miraculous than the splitting sea. You just have to notice. And yet, we live in a world where noticing has become optional. We admire science, and rightly so, but we’ve trained ourselves to ignore the One behind it. Like the man who prays for a parking spot and when he finds one right in front of the building, will casually look up and say, “Never mind, Hashem. I got this.” We all do it.

Rabbi Sacks highlights another layer to Kriyat Yam Suf – divine justice. Egypt’s military might, its chariots and horses, were the most advanced weapons of their time. And yet, it was precisely those chariots that got stuck. Their wheels fell off. Their strength became their weakness. And they drowned. Their very power destroyed them. Justice wasn’t just served, it was seen.

That, too, was a miracle—not just because it happened, but because it meant something. The same can be said for the fall of oppressive regimes, for the attacks that failed, for the quiet acts of preservation that play out in our lives. With those 300 missiles, wasn’t there justice in seeing weapons of destruction rendered harmless, their very purpose nullified? If these events reveal meaning—if they stir faith—they are miracles.

The Rambam in Moreh Nevuchim writes that people who think about Hashem more often experience more hashgacha pratis—divine personal supervision. But maybe that’s not a reward. Maybe it’s simply awareness. The more we think about Hashem, the more we notice Him. The more we look for His hand, the more visible it becomes. The miracles don’t increase, we just stop missing them.

What does it mean, then, to relive Kriyat Yam Suf this year? It means asking: when was the last time the sea split in my life, but I called it wind? It means realizing that we may have lived through one of the greatest miracles of our generation and barely blinked. And it means understanding that Hashem doesn’t always split seas with drama. Sometimes He sends a quiet wind. Sometimes He lets the wheels fall off the chariots. Sometimes He lets missiles fail.

But always, He is present in both the dramatic and mundane. The question isn’t whether miracles still happen—they surround us daily—but whether we’ve trained ourselves to recognize them. The sea splits differently for each generation; sometimes through water, sometimes through wind, sometimes through missile interceptions that defy probability. When we finally understand this, we discover the most profound truth: we have never stopped walking on dry land between walls of water, we’ve just stopped looking up.

If Not Now, Then When?

Steven Starr’s article “Now Is Not the Time to Say, ‘Now Is the Time to Move to Israel’” offers some noteworthy concerns about Jewish advocacy within the U.S. While I have what to say regarding several of his arguments, I have specifically chosen not to engage in a point-by-point debate. Instead, I would prefer to focus on a different, seemingly neglected, question: if not now, then when?

Starr argues that now is not the time for the American Jewish community to focus on the promotion of aliyah. Rather, American Jews should focus their efforts on advocacy within the U.S. to ensure continued support for Israel and to combat rising antisemitism. While this is indeed a valid suggestion, it begs the question of whether there ever was, or will be, a “right” time to encourage American Jews to make aliyah.  Historically, there have been various waves of immigration to Israel prompted by different circumstances, such as the aftermath of the Holocaust and the collapse of the Soviet Union. These were times when the urgency and need were undeniably clear. Are we to believe that such dire conditions are the only catalysts for making aliyah?

Looking forward, do we foresee a future scenario that would make aliyah more favorable or necessary? If so, what would that look like? Would it be based on geopolitical shifts, economic factors, or an (even greater) rise in antisemitic incidents? If so, what thresholds would need to be met to deem it the “right” time? In other words, what specific conditions would need to be present for one to say, unequivocally, that now is indeed the time for American Jews to move to Israel?

If the answer is that there has never been a right time in the past nor will there be one in the foreseeable future, then it seems we are left with the conclusion that aliyah is never appropriate. This stance raises further questions. Is the ideal of aliyah, then, a concept perpetually deferred, relevant only in theory but not in practice?

Additionally, Starr’s argument appears to rely on the assumption that American Jews can continue to effectively combat antisemitism and advocate for Israel indefinitely. This assumption is optimistic but may not align with the lived realities of many Jews experiencing increasing hostility and feeling marginalized in their own country. For some, the desire to move to Israel is not merely an escape but a proactive choice to live in a society where Jewish identity is the norm rather than the exception.

Moreover, while advocacy within the U.S. is crucial, it does not preclude the possibility of making aliyah. Many individuals and families balance both commitments, contributing to their communities in the diaspora while also establishing roots in Israel. This dual commitment strengthens the global Jewish community and provides a more nuanced approach than the binary choice he suggests between staying and fighting antisemitism or moving to Israel.

Finally, while I respect Starr’s call for continued advocacy and engagement within the U.S., I find it disappointing that his argument does not address the theological perspective on aliyah nor consider the relevance of the words of the prophets.  I respect that this was not the intended focus of his article, as he aimed to lead a very pragmatic conversation about the current realities facing American Jews. However, I believe that this omission is, in and of itself, a matter worth noting. As we know, God’s stated plan is for the ultimate return of the Jewish People to the land of Israel, a theme that reverberates throughout Tanach. As stated in Yirmiyahu 30:10: “But as for you, do not be afraid, my servant Jacob; do not be dismayed, Israel,’ declares Hashem. ‘I will surely save you from a distant place, your descendants from the land of their exile. Jacob will again have peace and security, and no one will make him afraid.’”

This theological viewpoint is crucial because it frames aliyah not merely as a reaction to external pressures but as a fulfillment of divine will and historical destiny. Ignoring this dimension of the discussion seems particularly shortsighted at a time when Jewish history and identity are under significant stress. While we cannot predict exactly how and when theological prophecies will unfold, dismissing aliyah as a viable option without considering its religious and historical significance is a missed opportunity. It suggests a permanent deferral of aliyah, which contradicts the intrinsic part of Jewish identity and survival tied to the land of Israel.  Engaging in this conversation without incorporating the theological perspective risks doubling down on the position of remaining in the diaspora indefinitely.  

In this context, it may be helpful to consider the thoughts of Rav Yissachar Shlomo Teichtal hy”d. In his monumental work, “Eim Habanim Semeicha,” written from within the fires of the Holocaust, he reflects a profound understanding of the necessity for Jews to return to their ancestral land, not just in times of crisis but as a proactive fulfillment of their destiny. He repeatedly emphasizes that the “right” time for aliyah is not merely a matter of external pressures but an intrinsic part of Jewish identity and survival. Indeed, for many Jews today, their connection to Israel is deeply personal and transcends political or economic considerations. It reflects a historical perspective and religious aspiration, a sense of belonging to a place that is intrinsically tied to their identity. To dismiss this as simply a reaction to external pressures is to overlook a fundamental aspect of Jewish life and thought.

In conclusion, while I respect Starr’s call for continued advocacy and engagement within the U.S., I question the premise that there is a definitive wrong time to encourage aliyah. Without clear criteria for when the time might be right, the argument against aliyah risks becoming a permanent dismissal rather than a temporary caution. For thousands of years, the Jewish people have survived and, at times, thrived by balancing resilience in the diaspora with a deep connection to Israel. So, rather than declaring that “Now Is Not the Time to Say, ‘Now Is the Time to Move to Israel’”, perhaps we should ask the question: if not now, then when?

It’s Gonna Be OK

Over the recent days, we have been privileged to meet some truly remarkable individuals, all united by an unwavering faith in the resilience of the Jewish people. The stories shared with us—of parents mourning children lost to terror or kidnapped, (or “stolen,” as Rachel Goldberg-Polin describes what happened to her son Hersh), of young widows grappling with the loss of their husbands, and of soldiers carrying the weight of severe, life-altering injuries—have been both heart-rending and profoundly moving.

As we concluded our three-day mission, my esteemed colleague, Rabbi Chaim Strauchler, challenged each participant to distill their entire experience into a single word that resonated with them the most. This exercise was meant to encapsulate the depth and breadth of our shared experiences in a personal and meaningful way. Amidst the varied responses, the word that resonated with me, capturing the essence of all that we had witnessed and felt, was “OK.”

This sentiment was profoundly illustrated in a moment that particularly stood out to me. Earlier today, we had the privilege of hearing from Rabbi Doron Perez, the Executive Chairman of the Mizrachi World Movement, who shared the heart-wrenching story of his son Daniel, taken hostage on October 7, with his fate since then remaining unknown. Rabbi Perez spoke with eloquence and poise, offering a vision of peace and unity for the future, despite his personal ordeal. In his closing remarks, he articulated a fervent hope for his son’s safe return but concluded this prayerful expression with a powerful statement: “Either way, it’s going to be OK.”

This assertion by Rabbi Perez served as a poignant reminder of the incredible challenges we face, the indescribable pain and suffering endured by many, but also of the extraordinary spirit and resilience that define us. His words encapsulated the underlying message of our entire mission: despite the adversity, the uncertainty, and the trials, there is a shared belief among us that, ultimately, everything will be OK.

Every Shabbos, when we read the haftara, we conclude with the following bracha: נֶאֱמָן אַתָּה הוּא ה’ אֱלֹקינוּ, וְנֶאֱמָנִים דְּבָרֶיךָ, וְדָבָר אֶחָד מִדְּבָרֶיךָ אָחוֹר לֹא יָשׁוּב רֵיקָם, כִּי אֵ-ל מֶלֶךְ נֶאֱמָן ורחמן אָתָּה, “You are faithful, Hashem our God, and Your words are faithful, and not one of Your words will return empty, for You are a faithful and merciful King and God.” As we conclude our reading of the words of the prophets, we affirm our faith in the prophetic visions of a hopeful future. This faith sustains us, providing a foundation of hope and resilience that, despite the current turmoil and the sacrifices that may yet be required, reassures us of a brighter future.

In our collective journey, a distinctive aspect of the Jewish experience is the deep-seated knowledge that we know “the end of the story.” This profound awareness doesn’t simplify our path or lessen the trials we encounter but rather illuminates our way with a sense of purpose and hope. The trials and tribulations, the questions and uncertainties we face, are all part of a larger narrative that we believe will culminate in a future filled with peace and unity. This knowledge, that the end of our story is one of coming together in our homeland, in a state of harmony and divine service, offers not just comfort but a resilient optimism. It reassures us that, despite the complexities and challenges of the present, the story’s end is one of fulfillment and redemption, reinforcing our faith that ultimately, everything is going to be OK.

Beyond Borders

On a day focused with a sense of purpose and solidarity, our group from Bergen County set out on a journey to Kerem Shalom, nestled at the very edge of Israel’s border with Gaza. This visit wasn’t just a mark on our itinerary; it was a step towards a deeper understanding and connection with a community that stands as a living testament to strength and unity at a time of war and adversity.

Kerem Shalom, with its tranquil grounds and warm smiles, carries the weight of history and the scars of terror, notably marked by the events of October 7. Yet, amidst this backdrop of tragedy and loss, the community’s spirit of resilience and determination to forge a path of peace and togetherness shines brightly, mirroring the indomitable spirit we’ve witnessed throughout our three-day journey.

What distinguishes Kerem Shalom, however, is its foundational commitment to a mixed community of religious and secular individuals. In a society often segmented by prescribed lines of belief and practice, Kerem Shalom emerges as a cultural and social oasis, a deliberate choice by its residents to not just share a postal code but to weave their lives together in a tapestry of mutual respect and understanding.

Our conversations with community members unveiled the beautiful, sometimes comical, ways they navigate their collective life. From decisions about communal amenities to the thoughtful hosting of diverse guests, each story highlighted a microcosm of negotiation, compromise, and above all, mutual respect that defines their daily existence.

In the heart of Kerem Shalom lies a profound respect for the individuality and authenticity of each member. This community is founded on the principle that engagement and integration do not equate to changing or indoctrinating one another. The interaction among members is characterized by an open exchange of ideas and values, where learning and inspiration flow bidirectionally without the intent to alter the core essence of the other. This approach fosters a space where everyone feels valued and heard, encouraging a deeper, more meaningful connection that is based on mutual respect and the recognition that everyone has something unique to offer. (While the Kerem Shalom model is profound, it’s important to note that integrating diverse religious and cultural backgrounds poses unique challenges that require thoughtful consideration. Nonetheless, in my opinion, this approach remains a remarkable blueprint for community living.)

Departing from Kerem Shalom, it became clear that the path to a thriving future for Israel’s Jewish community hinges on a deeper understanding and integration across its varied factions. This enclave of peace, thriving amidst broader regional tensions, demonstrates that true harmony is born from embracing and bridging our differences.

The uniqueness of Kerem Shalom’s inclusive ethos in the wider Israeli landscape highlights a significant gap—an urgent need for more profound engagement among diverse groups. To achieve national unity and communal vitality, it’s essential for these different strands of identity, belief, and tradition within the Jewish community to weave together more closely, recognizing that their collective strength lies in their diversity.

The Trees of Nova

This morning, we visited the site of the Nova Massacre, where, on the morning of October 7, a sudden and horrific blitz of terror was unleashed upon thousands of young Israelis. This catastrophic event led to hundreds of deaths, numerous injuries, and the indescribable horror of savage acts of rape and kidnapping. Today, we gathered at this hallowed ground as witnesses to the largest massacre in the annals of Israel.

In a poignant transformation, the earth that was soaked with the blood of the innocent now provides sustenance to hundreds of trees planted in their memory. Each tree stands as a living memorial, bearing the name and embodying the spirit of an individual whose life was brutally snatched away.

כי האדם עץ השדה – the Torah draws a compelling comparison between a person and a tree, a message which is imbued with deep symbolism. Just as a tree is composed of roots, a trunk, branches, leaves, and fruit, so too is a person. This metaphor speaks to the foundational values, connections, contributions, and legacies we each hold. The roots symbolize our heritage and the depth of our beliefs, anchoring us firmly. The trunk represents our core character and strength, supporting us through life’s challenges. Branches reflect our relationships and the reach of our influence, while leaves and fruit signify our deeds and the legacy we leave behind.

Trees grow at a gradual pace, and it will take many days, weeks, months, and years for these memorial trees to tower over this sacred site. Though the physical growth may not be immediately visible, it is unceasing, with each moment contributing to the eventual majesty of these living tributes.

In a similar vein, the path to redemption is referred to as a process of צמיחה, or growth. Indeed, whenever we pray for the coming of משיח, we ask Hashem to nurture the growth of צמח דוד. Redemption is a gradual process, often imperceptible in the moment, yet constantly unfolding. Just as these trees will one day stand tall and strong, symbolizing resilience and renewal, so too will the spirit of our nation, nurtured by the memories of those we’ve lost and the collective resolve to build a future in our Land.

At the sacred site at Nova, where terror once reigned, a forest of memorial trees rises, symbolizing the path to redemption. Each growing tree, dedicated to a lost life, reflects our unwavering belief in the process of גאולה, an ever-unfolding process of development and growth, קימעה קימעה, moving forward, one step at a time.

Never Stop Moving

Walking through the car graveyard, where hundreds of vehicles lay in ruins, a stark reminder of the terror inflicted by Hamas, one cannot help but reflect on the profound carnage and destruction of October 7. Each destroyed car, a symbol of halted journeys and shattered lives, serves as a poignant testament to the abrupt cessation of movement—a core aspect of human existence, where people are referred to as הולכים (“those who move”) in contrast to angels, who are עומדים (,”those who stand”).

In Torah thought, this distinction between הולכים and עומדים is significant. It underscores the dynamic nature of human life, our inherent drive for progress, and our perpetual journey towards growth and improvement. The concept of movement is deeply ingrained in our essence, reflecting not only physical displacement but also spiritual and emotional growth. The tragedy of October 7, with its stark interruption of this movement, brings into sharp focus the devastating impact of Hamas’ invasion, not only on the physical structures of our world but, more profoundly, on the human spirit. The cars in this graveyard, each with its own story of interrupted journeys and unfulfilled potentials, are a somber reminder of the lives that were abruptly destroyed.

As we move beyond this place, the imperative for us, as הולכים, becomes clear. We must carry forward the legacy of those whose journeys were so unjustly ended, to continue moving in a world that sometimes seeks to halt our progress. The tragedy of the car graveyard serves as a potent reminder of our responsibility to keep moving, to keep growing, and to never allow ourselves to become עומדים, paralyzed by fear or despair. We honor the memory of those lost by embracing the essence of הולכים, by continuing to move forward, to evolve, and to contribute to the healing and growth of our world.

Reconsidering Our Comfort Zones

Visiting the Shura Army Base in Israel provides a profound reflection on the resilience and dedication of those who serve in one of the most heart-wrenching roles within the military: the identification and preparation of fallen soldiers for their final journey home. This task, imbued with a profound sense of duty and respect for those who died על קידוש השם, demands a level of emotional and psychological fortitude that is hard to fathom. Since October 7, the soldiers at the Shura Base have faced days that have been intensely more demanding and emotionally taxing than any they have collectively experienced before.

Confronting the aftermath of battle and the personal toll it exacts brings forth a torrent of emotions and questions. One might wonder, “How do they manage? Could I ever bear such a burden?” These are natural contemplations, stemming from a place of empathy and self-reflection. Indeed, not everyone is equipped to handle the direct consequences of terror and war; the horror and tragedy of such circumstances require a particular kind of courage and strength that only some possess.

However, the visit to such a place should extend beyond mere observation; it should challenge us to introspect about our own capacities and limitations. It should prompt us to consider what it means to step out of our comfort zones. The individuals serving at the Shura Base are not mythical heroes; they are ordinary people performing extraordinary acts under the most challenging circumstances. This realization serves as a catalyst, urging us to ponder over what we, too, can endure or achieve when pushed beyond our perceived limits.

The question then becomes not if we could do exactly what they do, but rather what our own version of stepping out of our comfort zone looks like. For some, it might be volunteering for a cause that addresses a pressing issue, despite the discomfort it might bring. Others might find it in the pursuit of a dream or goal that seems daunting, requiring them to face fears of failure or judgment. Or perhaps it’s in the simple act of kindness and understanding toward someone from a completely different background, bridging gaps and building connections in small but significant ways.

The essence of pushing beyond our comfort zones lies in the willingness to confront the unknown, to face our fears, and to grow from the experiences that challenge us. The soldiers at Shura exemplify this principle in a context that few of us will ever directly encounter, but their courage and commitment can inspire us all to consider how we might move beyond our own boundaries, in whatever form that may take

The Sixth Stage

This morning, over 120 members of the Teaneck/Bergenfield community commenced a three-day solidarity mission to Israel, in response to the harrowing months of war that have deeply affected our nation. This communal effort is rooted in a collective desire to offer support and stand shoulder-to-shoulder with those who have been directly impacted by these challenging times.

The opening of our mission was marked by the exceptionally moving words of Jen Airley. She shared the deeply personal story of her son, Binyamin, who tragically fell in Gaza several months ago. Her courage and strength in the face of such loss deeply resonated with us all, serving as a powerful testament to the human cost of conflict and the remarkable resilience of those who endure it.

As we immerse ourselves in the Israeli community, it is evident that the conventional five stages of grief—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance, as introduced by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross—don’t fully encompass their collective experience. The unending nature of this war has led to a complex process of grieving, where individuals often find themselves navigating all five stages simultaneously.

However, in this complex landscape of grief, we observe an additional, profound stage: resilience. The resilience of the Jewish community in Israel adds a remarkable dimension to the grieving process, reflecting an enduring spirit and hope. This resilience, characterized by a collective determination to rebuild and move forward, highlights the incredible strength and will to persevere despite the ongoing challenges.

Witnessing this resilience at the beginning of our mission is profoundly inspiring. It paints a narrative of human endurance and adaptability, showcasing the capacity of the human spirit to not only withstand adversity but also to emerge stronger. The stories of courage, solidarity, and unwavering optimism that we encounter underscore the indomitable nature of the human will.

As we move forward with our mission over the next several days, we are prepared to witness the varied stages of grief that weave through the fabric of this nation’s experience. But we must also take note of this special endowment – the sixth stage of resilience, gifted to us by God Himself, as reflected in the words “ה’ עוז לעמו יתן” – “Hashem gives strength to His people.”